The Jazz Perpetrators

Leaves are starting to turn, the sun’s beginning to retire earlier, and there’s a turning in the air that bespeaks mellow reflection best enjoyed with a glass of your favorite beverage and sophisticated sounds like those emitted by the area’s favorite musical miscreants, the Jazz Perpetrators.

Come out and celebrate the change of season with the Perps, as they swing through an evening of sonic hipitude at the Crush Kitchen & Wine House on Thursday, September 18. This promises to be a special gig, as the Perps will be welcoming some special guests up to the bandstand (a fancy term for the slice of floorspace we call home at Crush).

The Perps, proponents of the “maximum enjoyment, minimum volume” philosophy, will begin their beguine at 8pm. Crush is located at 114 West Street in Annapolis, right next to Loews Hotel and just a few blocks from Church Circle. Dinner reservations can be made by phone (410-216-9444) or online: http://www.crushwinehouse.com/ .

Summer’s winding down, but before you go back to the grindstone, there’s still time to get in another evening of wine, women and swing with the area’s coolest swing-a-ding-dingers, the Jazz Perpetrators.

The Perps, whose new slogan is “maximum security, minimum volume,” will be providing musical ambience to complement the fine wines and cuisine of the Crush Kitchen & Wine House this coming Thursday, August 21, beginning at 8pm. It’s an adult thing, so don’t worry about having to deal with thrash, Goth, metal or anything that makes your ears bleed or your teeth hurt. The Perps will smooth out all the bumps from your busy, busy day with music that will relax and delight you.

Crush is located at 114 West Street in Annapolis, right next to the Loews Hotel and just a few blocks from Church Circle. Dinner reservations can be made by phone (410-216-9444) or online: http://www.crushwinehouse.com/.

Summer is for vacations, and just like everyone else, the Perps like to take it easy when the weather gets sultry and the tropical breezes beckon.

It’s been a busy summer for the Jazz Perpetrators off the band stand. Perpetraor linchpin/arranger/quarterback & ivory tickler Jim “light me up a Cuban” Hession has been busy increasing his keyboard wizardry via private lessons; he also took time to go on a cruise that went looking for the hole in the ocean left by the sinking of the Titanic.

Bob “Superbad” Cuellar has been doing the I-95 shuffle, running down to keep an eye on the ongoing construction of Salsa Central, his new home in Florida. In addition to going to New York to hang and jam with his former band buddies in the Empire State, Roberto caught a performance by one of his favorite jazz keyboardists, Ahmad Jamal, when he came to the D.C. area recently.

Bill “Big Bottom” Evans turned his four- and five-stringed basses into virtual ATM machines by providing his patented unshakable musical foundation for several rock ‘n roll bands week in and week out all summer long.

Stu “Big Air” Bailey kept himself busy with some freelance gigs and a major family excursion down to Olde Virginny. Reportedly, Murphy’s Law was strictly enforced, and let’s just say nobody’s going to forget it anytime soon.

Tub thumper Stanley’s time went to the dogs as he nursed and exercised Mojo the Wonder Dog back to fighting form after Mojo’s emergency operation and extended recuperation.

 Now that summer’s drawing to a close, be on the lookout for the Perps playing at a venue near you, and be sure to complement them on their back-to-school clothes – their mothers picked them out for them.

Summer’s about to heat up, but you can still maintain your cool by checking out the cool sounds of everyone’s favorite hipsters, the Jazz Perpetrators, as they swing the night away at the always-air-conditioned Thai Café on Saturday, June 9. As usual, they’ll be spicing up the night with their special blend of high spirits and low volume.

The Thai Café (http://www.thaicafeglenburnie.com/ ) is located on Delaware Ave, just off the intersection of Crain Highway and B&A Blvd (Rt. 3 & Rt. 648), the cultural and geographical epicenter of Glen Burnie.

This gig promises to be special: original Perpetrator upright bassist/ trumpeter/ racounteur Milt “your uncle’s moustache” Duval will be guesting with us and doing his Henny Youngman-Meets-Louis Armstrong routine as only he can while simultaneously slapping the doghouse and tooting his own horn – Milt’s a national treasure and not to be missed.

Stu “Big Air” Bailey will be arriving late from an international woodwind convention in Podunk, Iowa, but the rest of the Perps (Jim “easy living” Hession, Bob “Superbad” Cuellar, and that goofball with the dinky drumset) will be on hand to swing their way through a selection of jazz standards and R&B classics. Other guests may also take the stage at various points in the evening.

Music runs from 7 to 10pm, but come early for the award-winning Thai food – it’s cheaper than hopping a flight to Bangkok, plus you don’t have to take off your shoes, belt & jacket to get throught the door, there’s more legroom in the aisle, and if you’re adventurous, you can join the ground-high club if the cops don’t catch you in the parking lot.

Aqua Terra

The Jazz Perpetrators would like to thank Aqua Terra proprietors Ken Chase and Di Aytona for providing a regular musical home for the band’s decidedly irregular music. Avoiding the obvious classic rock/polka/Jimmy Buffet/James Taylor wannabes, Ken and Di chose the Jazz Perpetrators to musically represent Aqua Terra’s bistro and its retro-sophistication approach to fine dining and live entertainment. In a mutually enjoyable situation, Ken and Di provided a suitable venue for the Perps, who returned the favor with music that helped emphasize the uniqueness and sheer fun of Aqua Terra. After 12 years of great food, drink and company, Aqua Terra closed its doors on April 27th, 2012. We wish Ken and Di all the best in their future endeavors and look forward to seeing them again soon.

April’s here and everybody’s favorite musical miscreants, the Jazz Perpetrators, have a spring in their musical step. Fresh from his recent reggaeton recon down to Florida, Bob “Superbad” Cuellar will join his fellow Perps (Jim “pass the cognac” Hession, Stu “Big Air” Bailey, and arhythmia section) for an evening of musical hipitude at the Aqua Terra bistro in downtown Annapolis this Saturday night, April 7, from 10pm to 2am. Come on down and hear the Perps swing through the night with their special blend of high spirits and low volume.

The scene of the musical crime – the totally cool Aqua Terra bistro –  (http://www.aquaterraofannapolis.com/index.html)  is 164 Main Street in downtown Annapolis, halfway up the street between Church Circle and the City Dock. The band kicks off an evening of jazz standards and R&B classics at 10pm, but come early for some great Pacific Rim cuisine.

Historic Goshen Farm located in Cape St. Claire

The Jazz Perpetrators will help the Goshen Farm Preservation Society toot its own horn as they provide the musical entertainment at the Society’s Second Annual Java & Jazz event on Sunday, March 25. The event, to be held 3-5pm at St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church (1601 Pleasant Plains Road, Annapolis, MD 21409), is a fundraiser to benefit the restoration and preservation of nearby Goshen Farm.

Conveniently located just off of eastbound Rt. 50, a few miles before the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, the church’s community hall will swing and sway with the smooth sounds of the Jazz Perpetrators who will entertain attendees as they feast on a wide range of savory hors d’oeuvres and tasty treats, washed down with a selection of coffees and teas, all provided by Rocca Culinary Services, owned by local chef and caterer Beth Rocca.

Barbara Morgan, President of the GFPS, remarked, “Goshen Farm is a community treasure. The Society has been working since 2007 to preserve the property for future generations. We invite our friends and neighbors to come share a Sunday afternoon with us and learn more about the property and our efforts to save it.” Guests will be able to learn about history of the property and the restoration plans, catch up on the Society’s efforts, and find out how they can become a part of preserving local history.

Everbody’s favorite musical miscreants, the Jazz Perpetrators, will get their musical March madness on at Aqua Terra in downtown Annapolis this Saturday night, March 3, from 10pm to 2am. Come on down and listen to the Perps as they swing through an evening of criminally cool jazz.

The Perps (Jim “I’m Retired” Hession, Bob “Superbad” Cuellar, Stu “Big Air” Bailey, and Arhythmia Section) will be laying it up and getting nothin’ but net as they slip you the good stuff without blasting the food and wine off your table and into your lap.

The set list has expanded, but they will not be playing a cha-cha version of “Free Bird” unless several suitcases of nonsequential unmarked bills inexplicably appear on the bandstand.

Scene of the crime is 164 Main Street in downtown Annapolis, halfway up the street between Church Circle and the city dock. (http://www.aquaterraofannapolis.com/index.html) The band kicks off an evening of jazz standards and R&B classics at 10pm, but come early for some great Pacific Rim cuisine.