The Jazz Perpetrators

Your favorite musical miscreants, the Jazz Perpetrators, are celebrating a special event with a special gig this Friday, February 27, at one of their old stomping grounds, the Thai Café in Glen Burnie.

Original Perp founder Bob “Superbad” Cuellar, all-around hip guy and purveyor of Hammond organ funkitude, is getting ready to leave cloudy/rainy/snowy Maryland behind and permanently relocate to year-‘round-sunny Florida. Although he won’t be departing until June, he’s got plenty to keep him busy between now and then in order to get ready for the move, so his fellow Perps have decided to get ahead of the curve and throw him a party/open jam while he’s still got some time on his calendar.

Because the Thai Café is the birthplace of the band, this will be a special night, so come on out and get down with Mister Superbad and his fellow Perps. All of our musician friends are welcome to come and sit in with us as the music kicks off around 7:30-8pm, depending on how much Thai beer is consumed before then.

The award-winning Thai Café is located at 7477 Baltimore Annapolis Blvd. in downtown Glen Burnie. For directions and menu, check out their web site at:
http://thaicafeglenburnie.com/

See you there, weather permitting (which is the main reason Bob’s heading south in his bad-ass Mustang convertible).

Santa’s greasing up the runners of the sled, the reindeer are working out in the gym, elves are making toys, and you’re probably looking for a place to get away from it all before the whole thing explodes in a pepperminty blast of Amazon overnight shipping, mobs at the mall, and light stringing (whoops, another one just went out).

Relax and get into the hipper side of Christmas by coming on down to the Crush Kitchen & Wine House in Annapolis on Thursday, December 18 to get an earful of Santa’s sonic merrymakers, the Jazz Perpetrators. The Perps will start their holiday hootin’ and honkin’ at 8pm and continue until 11, which coincidentally is exactly the same as their usual gig time.

So give yourself the gift of relaxation before the madness kicks into high gear and drives you completely nuts. You’ll thank yourself for it, even if you really do like fruit cake. (Honestly, who eats that?)

Crush is located at 114 West Street in Annapolis, right next to the Loews Annapolis Hotel and just a few blocks from Church Circle. Dinner reservations can be made by phone (410-216-9444) or online: http://www.crushwinehouse.com.

Everybody knows November is turkey time. You know the drill: turkey with all the trimmings; pumpkin this and pumpkin that, cranberry stains on your good clothes (that stain is cranberry sauce, isn’t it? Where were you on the night of – never mind, just kidding!), football on the tube, your drunk uncle passed out on the sofa, kids spilling everything that can be spilled at the kids table. Really looking forward to it, aren’t you?

Aren’t you?

Well, just in case you need a little adult fortification to loosen you up and prepare you for what’s coming, come on down to Crush Kitchen & Wine House in Annapolis on Thursday, November 20 to get an earful of everybody’s favorite musical turkeys, the Jazz Perpetrators. The Perps will start their jazzy rizmanizing at 8pm and continue to the pre-witching hour of 11. As usual, they will adhere to their philosophy of “high spirits, low volume” so you can leave the ear plugs at home. Crush is located at 114 West Street in Annapolis, right next to the Loews Hotel and just a few blocks from Church Circle. Dinner reservations can be made by phone (410-216-9444) or online: http://www.crushwinehouse.com.

Leaves are starting to turn, the sun’s beginning to retire earlier, and there’s a turning in the air that bespeaks mellow reflection best enjoyed with a glass of your favorite beverage and sophisticated sounds like those emitted by the area’s favorite musical miscreants, the Jazz Perpetrators.

Come out and celebrate the change of season with the Perps, as they swing through an evening of sonic hipitude at the Crush Kitchen & Wine House on Thursday, September 18. This promises to be a special gig, as the Perps will be welcoming some special guests up to the bandstand (a fancy term for the slice of floorspace we call home at Crush).

The Perps, proponents of the “maximum enjoyment, minimum volume” philosophy, will begin their beguine at 8pm. Crush is located at 114 West Street in Annapolis, right next to Loews Hotel and just a few blocks from Church Circle. Dinner reservations can be made by phone (410-216-9444) or online: http://www.crushwinehouse.com/ .

Summer’s winding down, but before you go back to the grindstone, there’s still time to get in another evening of wine, women and swing with the area’s coolest swing-a-ding-dingers, the Jazz Perpetrators.

The Perps, whose new slogan is “maximum security, minimum volume,” will be providing musical ambience to complement the fine wines and cuisine of the Crush Kitchen & Wine House this coming Thursday, August 21, beginning at 8pm. It’s an adult thing, so don’t worry about having to deal with thrash, Goth, metal or anything that makes your ears bleed or your teeth hurt. The Perps will smooth out all the bumps from your busy, busy day with music that will relax and delight you.

Crush is located at 114 West Street in Annapolis, right next to the Loews Hotel and just a few blocks from Church Circle. Dinner reservations can be made by phone (410-216-9444) or online: http://www.crushwinehouse.com/.

Summer is for vacations, and just like everyone else, the Perps like to take it easy when the weather gets sultry and the tropical breezes beckon.

It’s been a busy summer for the Jazz Perpetrators off the band stand. Perpetraor linchpin/arranger/quarterback & ivory tickler Jim “light me up a Cuban” Hession has been busy increasing his keyboard wizardry via private lessons; he also took time to go on a cruise that went looking for the hole in the ocean left by the sinking of the Titanic.

Bob “Superbad” Cuellar has been doing the I-95 shuffle, running down to keep an eye on the ongoing construction of Salsa Central, his new home in Florida. In addition to going to New York to hang and jam with his former band buddies in the Empire State, Roberto caught a performance by one of his favorite jazz keyboardists, Ahmad Jamal, when he came to the D.C. area recently.

Bill “Big Bottom” Evans turned his four- and five-stringed basses into virtual ATM machines by providing his patented unshakable musical foundation for several rock ‘n roll bands week in and week out all summer long.

Stu “Big Air” Bailey kept himself busy with some freelance gigs and a major family excursion down to Olde Virginny. Reportedly, Murphy’s Law was strictly enforced, and let’s just say nobody’s going to forget it anytime soon.

Tub thumper Stanley’s time went to the dogs as he nursed and exercised Mojo the Wonder Dog back to fighting form after Mojo’s emergency operation and extended recuperation.

 Now that summer’s drawing to a close, be on the lookout for the Perps playing at a venue near you, and be sure to complement them on their back-to-school clothes – their mothers picked them out for them.

Summer’s about to heat up, but you can still maintain your cool by checking out the cool sounds of everyone’s favorite hipsters, the Jazz Perpetrators, as they swing the night away at the always-air-conditioned Thai Café on Saturday, June 9. As usual, they’ll be spicing up the night with their special blend of high spirits and low volume.

The Thai Café (http://www.thaicafeglenburnie.com/ ) is located on Delaware Ave, just off the intersection of Crain Highway and B&A Blvd (Rt. 3 & Rt. 648), the cultural and geographical epicenter of Glen Burnie.

This gig promises to be special: original Perpetrator upright bassist/ trumpeter/ racounteur Milt “your uncle’s moustache” Duval will be guesting with us and doing his Henny Youngman-Meets-Louis Armstrong routine as only he can while simultaneously slapping the doghouse and tooting his own horn – Milt’s a national treasure and not to be missed.

Stu “Big Air” Bailey will be arriving late from an international woodwind convention in Podunk, Iowa, but the rest of the Perps (Jim “easy living” Hession, Bob “Superbad” Cuellar, and that goofball with the dinky drumset) will be on hand to swing their way through a selection of jazz standards and R&B classics. Other guests may also take the stage at various points in the evening.

Music runs from 7 to 10pm, but come early for the award-winning Thai food – it’s cheaper than hopping a flight to Bangkok, plus you don’t have to take off your shoes, belt & jacket to get throught the door, there’s more legroom in the aisle, and if you’re adventurous, you can join the ground-high club if the cops don’t catch you in the parking lot.

Aqua Terra

The Jazz Perpetrators would like to thank Aqua Terra proprietors Ken Chase and Di Aytona for providing a regular musical home for the band’s decidedly irregular music. Avoiding the obvious classic rock/polka/Jimmy Buffet/James Taylor wannabes, Ken and Di chose the Jazz Perpetrators to musically represent Aqua Terra’s bistro and its retro-sophistication approach to fine dining and live entertainment. In a mutually enjoyable situation, Ken and Di provided a suitable venue for the Perps, who returned the favor with music that helped emphasize the uniqueness and sheer fun of Aqua Terra. After 12 years of great food, drink and company, Aqua Terra closed its doors on April 27th, 2012. We wish Ken and Di all the best in their future endeavors and look forward to seeing them again soon.

April’s here and everybody’s favorite musical miscreants, the Jazz Perpetrators, have a spring in their musical step. Fresh from his recent reggaeton recon down to Florida, Bob “Superbad” Cuellar will join his fellow Perps (Jim “pass the cognac” Hession, Stu “Big Air” Bailey, and arhythmia section) for an evening of musical hipitude at the Aqua Terra bistro in downtown Annapolis this Saturday night, April 7, from 10pm to 2am. Come on down and hear the Perps swing through the night with their special blend of high spirits and low volume.

The scene of the musical crime – the totally cool Aqua Terra bistro –  (http://www.aquaterraofannapolis.com/index.html)  is 164 Main Street in downtown Annapolis, halfway up the street between Church Circle and the City Dock. The band kicks off an evening of jazz standards and R&B classics at 10pm, but come early for some great Pacific Rim cuisine.